I know that I have not been posting much lately, but honestly life has been happening and sitting down and posting to the blog has taken a back seat. It probably will for about two weeks still. I have two weeks left of classes and then I am done with my AA. I'm so excited! But the next two weeks will be absolutely killer. I wish I could post a picture of my school planner. There are like three things due each day, and I'm behind. Oh joy. But I just keep thinking about my graduation and then about having a month off. I can't wait.
I'm just struggling with keeping everything going. Its a real struggle to keep the house together and take killer classes. I am totally failing right now. Honestly all I want to do is sew, sew and sew. Have you ever felt like that? You just wanted to let the house fall apart and the dishes pile up and the food not get cooked and just quit? I know its not the right attitude but its a struggle right now. I feel like with school and housework something always has to give, not to mention trying to tack on keeping up a relationship with my husband.
I guess that this part of life, but it seems like I'm on this never ending treadmill that is the dishes, the laundry, cleaning and homework. As soon as one thing gets done than another has built up. The laundry right now is overflowing.
I know that this is just a time in my life and that someday having all this homework will pass, though the housework will not. I am so thankful for a husband who has been so helpful in picking up on the things that slip. He is truly a wonderful man.
So what is God showing me through this? Well that I can only rely on Him. I need to put a top priority on my relationship with Him and then on my relationship with my husband. Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is about things lasting. When I look back on my life what will I remember that matters? Will I remember that the laundry was always perfectly done? Will I remember that my husband had a homecooked meal every day of his life? Or will I remember the time I spent with my husband? Will I remember the fact that I worked hard and finished school? Will I remember most of all that I spent time with my Lord?
Its something that God has really been teaching me. Instead of looking at all I have to do, I need to look at the long term (and even eternal) significance of what I am doing. I always wonder if when I am at the end of my life, what will I look back on and be glad that I did and what will I look back on and wish that I hadn't spent so much time on. Would I wish that I had stopped and just talked to my husband and not worried about all the housework?
Of course I am not saying that I am going to let the house totally go down hill and just not care, because that is not what God would want, but I am saying that maybe I shouldn't worry as much about things that don't matter as much as spending time with my husband and with my God.