Saturday, September 1, 2012

Finally... An Update

I know my blog has non-existant the last few months. I am so sorry. I don't have a good reason for this, it just has been a crazy, rough, few months and when things slowed down I felt very burned out on blogging. I am hoping to get back to it with some semblance of normalcy.

So, dear reader, I am sorry. I guess this post will be an update on where I am in my pregnancy, my life, my family etc. I feel like I could write a book on how much has happened these last few months. I am sorry that I haven't kept you all up to date!!

I will start with my pregnancy. I am still pregnant. Seth Jacob is due at the end of this month. I honestly cannot wait to meet him. I am filled with so much love for him, its hard to even explain. The pregnancy has continued to be very rough. I am still struggling with hyperemesis (severe, way beyond normal pregnancy, nausea and vomitting) but thankfully it died down enough that I can maintain some little bit of normalcy. I have been tons of contractions (aka Braxton Hicks) and the doctor says that with how Seth is looking, he thinks Seth will be coming in just a few weeks. I am so excited! Today I hit 36 weeks (or 9 months) so I am ready.

Yesterday I had an ultrasound and it was amazing to see my little man. The dr showed me that he has hair (which was quite exciting!) and showed me his hands and legs. Finally the dr looked at his face and he was sucking his thumb. Seeing him suck on his thumb, and being able to see his tongue moving, and his fingers all curled together was such a surreal movement. I started to tear up. So many times in this pregnancy its been easy to focus on the negative with how I'm feeling and what is going on around me, but in that moment it hit me that God gave me a little baby. This baby is not just a lump inside me that makes me sick, he is a real little baby that I love. Its hard to describe the feeling, and honestly I can't believe that I am confessing that I sometimes felt like it was a lump making me sick, but I promised honesty here. But I saw his little lips and tongue sucking, and his chest rise as he practiced breathing I was filled with a complete and total love for this little boy that God has allowed me to carry inside me.

Next I'll give you a short update on my life. Isaiah graduated college! It was a very exciting day for all of us. He has worked so hard and for so long, and with lots of help and support from our Savior, he walked across the stage and graduated. It was a very proud day. After he graduated we moved from St. Petersburg, FL to Ocala, FL. Isaiah is the general manager of a graphics company (aka any kind of digital designed things such as business cards, signs, tshirts, banners etc) and seems to really love it. God has allowed the business to be doing well, and again I am so proud of him.

I am learning to be used to Ocala. Its nice being closer to our families, especially during the pregnancy. I can't wait to introduce Seth to all his vast amounts of family, who are all very excited that he is coming

I would give an update on what God is teaching me, but honestly with all that has happened that would take far more space than my little blog could contain. I will post more later about it, I promise. But I think the biggest thing I am learning, and have been throughout this pregnancy, is how little I really have control over in my life. God really is in control of everything! I thought I had control over my body, where I lived, my friends etc, but everything I thought I controlled, God took the control out of my hands and said, "Dear daughter, you really don't control it, so just let Me handle it." I really am trying. Its a constant struggle to allow Him to be in control and not want to grab it back. But every time I try to take it back, everything just falls apart. I wish I could say I am the picture of contentment and peace in my circumstances (those of you that really know me are probably dying laughing at this picture right now) but alas I am not. I am very discontent and impatient most of the time. Thankfully I serve a patient and loving God that keeps working with me in all my humanness.

That is all for now. I will try to write more. I hope to post nursery and belly pictures later. Hopefully this is the start of being more blog oriented again. Thank you for sticking with me through the long lull dear faithful reader.