Monday, January 3, 2011
The Role of Wife
I used to think that being a wife meant giving up your identity, your mind and everything about you. I thought it meant becoming a smiling wife who did nothing more than cook, grocery shop and clean (all things I thought were very boring and hated doing). I know the difference now.
When we were first married I till struggled with feeling like that. I wondered if I was losing my identity. Was I stil Katie or was I just Mrs. Tamblingson? I realized I was both. I am still me. That will never change. But now I have the added honor and privilege of being Mrs. Tamblingson. Was I good for nothing more than laundry and cleaning? How was I serving God when all I did was cook and clean?
Then I struggled with I'm not being a good enough wife because my house is not as spotless as my mom keeps her house. And sometimes I got behind on the laundry. My tiny apartment is over cluttered and I was embarrassed. I refused to have people over. I felt terrible. I compared myself to other wifes I knew who had perfect houses and the laundry was always done etc etc etc. I would cry all the time because I wasn't living up to other people.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Colossians 3:18
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5: 22 - 33
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:10-31
This just showed me that God doesn't talk about being a wife in how my house is, or how people think my house looks; He cares that I submit to my husband,that I serve my husband and uplift him and that my marriage shows everyone around me how He is with His bride, the church. Then I realized that in serving my husband I am serving God. Its the way I serve God. And through my example and marriage maybe I am serving others. I can show them God and His love for them.
Its then that cleaning and cooking started feeling like an honor. With all Isaiah does for me, its an honor to serve him through keeping his jeans clean and his meals cooked. And in doing that for my husband I am serving my God, who has done so much for me.
I am finally fully starting to understand what it means to be a helpmate. I am Isaiah's helpmate. My job and purpose from God for my life is to love my husband and make him better. My purpose should not be to uplift myself, but to uplift my husband and his goals.
I will say I am not always perfect with submitting and uplifiting Isaiah. There are days when I don't want to. I want to do things my way. Or I think I know best. But that is not how God designed marriage. I am not just some robot that has to submit and stop thinking, that is not a real relationship. I am a part of the relationship. But when it comes down to it, Isaiah is my head and my job to raise him up.
Isn't that how we are supposed to as the bride of Christ also? Our goals should be to uplift Him and His goals. We are to submit to His headship and his direction. Our whole life should be about raising Him up and showing Him to everyone around us.
You know, I almost feel sorry for men. They don't get the everyday job of submitting to their husbands, like we do. We can already know what it means to lay ourselves down out of love and serve. Its our job. We are very blessed.
I will say that I am very thankful for a husband who encourages me to fulfill my potential and does not just want me to be a robot to him. He is understanding and loving. He wants my input in our relationship and life and wants my thoughts. I am so thankful for him.
I am so thankful I get to be a wife. God has blessed me with this job. Though people may not understand it, I am glad I get the honor of submitting to my husband. I am thankful for the job of serving him in my every day life. It is my purpose and my role in life. What an honor.