I feel like our life is changing at a break neck speed right now and I haven't updated you all about it. Well, this post will not be about our rapidly changing life, that post will come later. No I promise it really will. This post will be about something else. Something God has been pounding into my head, and heart, a lot lately. Its come up in so many conversations, and in my Bible reading, and sermons. Just oh so many places.
This thing God has been showing me is how important a personal walk with Him really is. A personal relationship with God has to be everything in your life. It has to be the thing that you make the most important. I have to admit that lately I have not been doing a good job at working on my relationship with God. I have not made it a number one priority. So many times I think about working on my relationship with father, my family and others, and I start to neglect my relationship with God. What is wrong with me? Why is it that my relationship with God is one of the first things that I so quickly drop when things start to get busy? I know, I am ashamed to admit it. It is so wrong. But I have promised to always be honest on here.
So back to what God is showing me. I am realizing that he does not want my leftovers. He does not want what I have left over in my time to give Him. I know that in my relationship with my husband I have to make an effort to build our relationship. I can't just give my husband my scraps of time, and expect my relationship with Him to grow. I am realizing (and yes God has taught me this before, but in my somehow human mind I seem to forget this) that God needs my attention. He needs more than I even give my husband. If my other activities are taking away from my relationship with Him, than it should never by my relationship with Him that suffers, it should be that I need to take something out of my life that is distracting me. Working on my relationship with God should be the most important thing in my life.
Something that I have seen in my growing up (I'm at the ripe old age of 20, gasp!) is many of my friends, and aquaintances that I thought would never leave their faith are leaving everything I thought they believed in. Many people that came from good Chrstian families, and who I thought had strong Christian backgrounds are renouncing their faith. Now in many of their lives, it has to do with many different reasons, and I'm not saying that any one reason causes this, but something I am seeing as a big issue is that these people do not have their own personal relationship with God. In so many of these "good" Christian families the parents have a relationship with God, and teach their kids a certain way to live, but the kids never develop their own relationship with God. They rely on their parent's rules, and their parent's relationship with God, and then they grow up, and their parent's relationship with God will not hold them anymore. They flounder. I have definitley felt that way.
Something I have found, as a wife, is that it is easy to rely on my husband's relationship with God. Its easy to just say ok well He has a relationship with God, so I'm fine (ok well maybe not quite that simplified but you get the general picture). I know, that is so wrong. When I try to rely on His relationship, it puts so much pressure on Isaiah, and not only am I not getting what i should from God, but it hurts my relationship with Isaiah, and his relationship with God.
So here I am, saying that I am far from perfect. My relationship with God is far from perfect. But I need to work on not letting my busy life get before my relationship with my Savior. My Savior should be the most important Thing in my life. But ashamedly I say, sometimes He isn't.
I want to start making my Lord a priority. I want to make spending time with Him the most important thing in my life. I want my God to be first.