Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A Terrible Wife

I am a bad wife. Ok its out there. I almost feel better now. I am a bad wife because I hate cleaning. I love baking, but I don't like to cook. I have a hard time keeping up with everything in the house, and my school. i feel like my school sometimes takes over. My husband has to help me with the house. And, on the final list of bad wife traits, sometimes I just get overwhelmed and totally fall apart and Isaiah has to pick her up off the floor. So there you go, I am a terrible wife.

I look at other wives, and their well kept homes, and their seeming put togetherness and I cringe.I feel like I am a terrible wife because I don't enjoy doing all this. I feel like I need to take a wife pill and become a better wife. I wish.

Ok Im done. I promise. Do any of you ever feel like that? I had these dreams of what I would be like as a wife, and they definitely have not come true. I am not sure if its because I am just busy with school, and trying to keep up with all that? Is it because I just don't like doing it? Is it because I just need to deal with it? Or is it because I'm a terrible wife?

I don't know. Sometimes I feel like the only wife who feels this way? Do any of you ever feel like a terrible wife? Do you ever feel like you can't keep up with everything in the house? Do you ever just cringe at the thought of cleaning the house again?

I would love any advice. I don't mean the advice just to work harder and deal with it. I mean some advice. I woud love to hear from someone who has felt this way and gotten through it.


  1. Hi Kady, It can be hard to be a wife when you are focusing on what you "should" be. Talk to your husband about what you both think your role should be. Another thing to do is look at what the bible has to say about being a wife. Proverbs 31 is a good place to start. Don't look at it as a laundry list of things you have to do or a standard. Read it daily and try to put just one verse into practice a day. If you feel like you are not measuring up consider that you are made perfect in Christ. School is just a stepping stone to bigger and better things. Don't lose focus, the struggle you are going through is temporary. You may be facing a trial in your relationship with your husband, but it will make you stronger as a couple. If you need to chat, head on over to my blog, my contact is listed.

  2. Hey, girl! Yes, I have felt this way before...MANY times~ and, if others were honest, too, they would tell you the same. I think you are holding high standards on what it means to be "a good wife"! You are young! It will take time to get into your groove and just do what needs to be done....however, who said it is so wrong for a husband to help around the house?? There is nothing wrong with that and a lot of times COMPLETELY necessary to get the help...

    I reality, who really LOVES doing housework?? Not many....and, those who do are nerds.

    I agree with Joy...ask God what kind of wife He wants you to be. And, leave yourself LOTS of room and grace for error....we ALL fall short!!
    No worries! You'll get it...
    And, by the way...this is the 21st Century, not the 1920's in the Land of Pleasantville!! Pleeease....don't beat yourself up about it. Isaiah loves you for who you!

  3. Yup...I feel like that sometimes. However, like everything else, you have to give it to God in faith. He will strengthen you and help you to improve. Until this day I hate ironing and washing dishes. By the way it is never a good idea to start comparing might be surprised to find out how imperfect these people are.

  4. You have your priorites with school, Kady. Getting an education is so important, and in the long run it matters more than cleaning in the short run.

    Of course you would be overwhelmed - it's too much for any one person to do on their own!

    You judge yourself very harshley and call yourself names for what you don't like to do.

    Frankly, I don't know anyone who LIKES to clean, although almost everyone enjoys having a clean house - and they aren't admitting how hard it is, or that maybe they have outside help!

    Perhaps when school is over, and you get a good job that can afford some outside help, this may resolve itself. Chin up until then - and try to be nicer to yourself wth your self-talk:)

  5. I'd recommend; it's been my lifesaver in keeping a 'presentable' house. If you can't start with Day 1 and follow through as she teaches, as least, jump in with the Morning, Afternoon, Evening routines, Hot Spots, Sneak Peeks, 5 minute room rescues . . etc.


Thank you for the comments!! I love hearing from you. :)