Your Moving!

Dear Baby T,

I love you so much. I got to see you this week on the ultrasound. You are getting so big! I couldn't believe it. I know you are growing, but to see how much you have changed always amazes me. It makes me so excited to meet you and hold you. Sometimes I lay in bed (when I'm unable to sleep, which is quite frequent right now) I wonder what you will look like. I wonder if you will have daddy's blue eyes, my smile (it runs in my family you know) or daddy's nose. I think about holding you and watching you smile.

You started REALLY kicking this week. I have felt you for a while now, but this week you started to really move. I love feeling you move around and it always makes me smile. You love when daddy talks. You always get very active when he is around and talking. I you pray you and him will always have a special bond.

You love when I put on some music to worship God. Any time any music comes on about your Jesus, you start moving. It makes me so excited to teach you old hymns, new songs and other music to worship our God. I can't wait to teach you about our God. I can't wait to tell you the stories of the Bible, and show you the wonders of our Lord. I love Him so much, and I pray that will fall in love with Him more than I am. I pray you will have a strong faith in our God at a very young age.

I can't wait to meet you. I love you little one.

Love,
Your Mommy

Letter to Baby, Week 15

Dear Baby Tamblingson,

First of all, your daddy and I already love you so much. I can't imagine what life will be like with you. I know that life will totally change once you arrive, and it already is, but I can't wait for that day. I love feeling you move, and knowing you are there. I love thinking about you, and wondering what you will look like.

Your daddy already loves you so much. I wish you could see how his face lights up when he talks to you. He loves holding my stomach and talking about you. He loves that when he talks to you, you start moving around. He can't wait to meet you.

I know this time has been hard on both of us. I know that we will be ok. I just worry about you. I know that with this sickness, you can be in danger and it scares me. I know that they say most babies whose mothers have hyperemesis are ok, but I'm still scared for both of us. Sometimes I feel like I'm already a bad mother to you because I can't give you what you need, though I know that there is nothing I can do about it.

I love you,
Your Mommy

Quick Pregnancy Update

Its been a very rough pregnancy so far. Right now I am still very sick, and struggling. I'm on bed rest and still sick. But I am attempting to get back to posting. I have seen on some other blogs where mommy's wrote letters to their baby on the blog. I think its sweet, and wanted to start.

By the way, baby is doing well. We are 15 weeks along. Baby is growing well. We are happy that things are going so well. Soon I will post pictures of the bump and sono. But for now, you get my journal updates. :)

Please be praying for baby and I. There is worry that there could be some serious issues later on due to how sick I am. I am ready to feel better.

Big News

So I know that I have been totally out of contact for quite a while. I am sorry. The last few months have been completely crazy, and its just been hard to write. I wanted to write a quick note about what was going on, and I promise to fill you all in more later. So as you know, things were crazy with my health. We weren't sure what was going to happen.

I wasn't getting better, and the dr couldn't figure out why I was still saying so sick, and losing weight so fast. I went to the dr and we talked about the next steps we would take to figure out why I couldn't keep food down, and what to do about having a second surgery. We decided to go ahead with a second surgery, and she was going to send me to a GI specialist to have a scope and figure out whats wrong. At the end of the visit she came back in the room with a shocked look on her face.

She said, well your pregnant. We aren't sure why we didn't catch this with all you have happened, but you are definitely pregnant. She couldn't believe it, we couldn't believe. Its been a total rollercoaster.

After being told I may always be infertile, and getting pregnant would be very difficult, and how sick I was, this baby is a miracle. The dr said she was amazed that I didn't miscarry with all the procedures and medicine I had. We were so shocked and nervous about losing the baby.

Well I am 12 weeks now, and the baby is very healthy. Its been a very rough pregnancy, and that is why I haven't posted. We are hoping its starting to get better, and I will fill you all in more later. I've never gotten this far along with the pregnancy, and seeing the baby on the ultrasound, and hearing its heartbeat, has been amazing.

I promise to post more later, especially when I feel better.

Doctors Visit

So I went to the doctor. I joked with the nurse that I should get a frequent visitor card like a frequent flyer vard. Its ridiculous. But anyway, I went to the doctor. It was all kinds of fun.

So I talked to the doctor. She is concerned that the vomiting is something wrong with my stomach, such as ulcers or something like that. She put me on a new medicine to try out for a week. Next Monday we are going to see how I'm doing. If the medicine isn't working for my stomach than she will probably send me to a gastrointestinal specialist.

Thankfully the pain is doing a lot better, and the doctor said its looking more like I may not have to have that second surgery. We are really praying that is the case.

Thank you for the prayers.

Post-Surgery Update

I want to start this post out by saying how much both Isaiah and I appreciate all the love and support we have gotten through this very rough time in our lives. So many people have come up beside us and prayed and loved on us through everything. We really can't thank you enough. Your love and support have really encouraged us. 

I cannot believe that one month ago I thought I was pregnant. One month ago I was so happy. One month ago my life was completely different. I feel like I have lived an entire lifetime in one month. I have gone from one of the highest, happiest times of my life, to one of the lowest and scariest times of my life in a few short weeks. I feel like I have felt every emotion known to man.

I wish I could say that through everything, and all the emotions all I have felt towards God is thankful and worshipful, but I honestly have struggled with all that also. I have had days where I am just in awe of Him, and praise Him for whatever He is doing in my life, and other days where I am just frustrated and almost angry at Him for not only taking my baby away, but also allowing me to go through all this with my health. I know its not the good Christian thing to say, but its the honest Christian thing to say. I have struggled with understanding, though I have come to realize that many of the great people in the Bible struggled with many of the same emotions, and yet God holds them up to us as examples. 

I keep thinking of Jacob. Like Jacob I am wrestling with God. I am wrestling with Him and not understanding Him. But when you read the story of Jacob and the wrestling, when he wrestled with God is when He got closer with God and God became an intimate part of His life. I can say that through all my wrestling, that I have drawn closer to God, and allowed Him to be more of a part in my life. I don't understand why He is allowing this, but I know that He has never left my side. I feel like I'm caught up in this hurricane (I"m from Florida so I understand hurricanes) of crazy emotions, bad news about my health, and physical ailments and all I can cling to is God.

I will admit I have been somewhat discouraged this week. It feels like we are never getting good news through everything. It feels almost like every time there is "well worst case is ...." its always the worst case. I have to admit I've cried to Isaiah, texted my sister in law in tears, and called my mom just needing some encouragement. My family has been such a help in helping me to stay strong when I need it. God gives them all just the words to say, when I need to hear them. 

Physically I am still struggling. My body is just physically worn out. Its not like I'm sleepy tired, its just feeling like my body is physically exhausted of all its been through. I am not able to do much at all.  I am still constantly throwing up, and nauseas. We think its honeslty worse than before the surgery. The good news is that I'm losing weight, but not in a healthy way. I'm barely eating, and most of the time when I do eat I throw it back up. The doctor is not sure why I am still so sick, and said that should be happening.

The doctor is also saying that there is a very big chance I will have to have a second surgery to remove my ovary. This second surgery will be much more intense than the first one was. We won't know for sure until at least after my first doctors visit (which is in a week) maybe not for a few weeks after that. 

Thankfully the very intense pain is mostly gone. I only have pain when I lay in a certain position or stay in one position too long. That has been one good sign.

So please keep praying for me and Isaiah. All this has been rough on him also. We are still facing a lot of uncertainty about what will happen next, and even what is still happening to my body. It doesn't seem to be over, but I know that God is my Healer. I am claiming that and believing it. I know that He can choose to miraculously heal me, or heal me through doctors. I also believe in James 5:16 "...pray for one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual prayer of a righteous man availeth much." 

Thank you for all your prayer, love and support. Isaiah and I greatly appreciate it. 

Babypalooza Giveaway Winners

I'm sorry to everyone for not posting the winners. With everything that has happened since I started the giveaways its just been hard to face posting this. But you all deserve a winner. So here I am, announcing the winner to both giveaways!!

The winners were picked using random.org.

The winner of Giveaway #1 with Amanda Simpkins is:

Angie Alford

The winner of Giveaway #2 with designs by maya is:

deanna

Congratulations to the winners! I will be emailing you today. Please respond within 48 hours or I will have to pick a different winner. I hope you love your prizes!!!!!